oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
