Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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