He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
