i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
