I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
