We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
