My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
