Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
