Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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