we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
