My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
