I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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