I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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