I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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