Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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