I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
