the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
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