But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
