Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize