There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize