You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
