You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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