Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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