This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
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