i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
