im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
