They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
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She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
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I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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