he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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