I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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