U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
