i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
