And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
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I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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