All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
