You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
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Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
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I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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