I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize