I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize