What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
