Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
