New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
