you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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