I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
