Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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