? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
