i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
