I'm really into asian looking animals
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
