I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
People in love make me want to vomit
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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