Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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