Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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