office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
