the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize