distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
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