We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver just had a heart attack.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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