i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
