Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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