dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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