as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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