I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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