There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
