I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
