i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
