When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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